Hmm...cant believe it has been more than an year since I blogged last...and all the more I now have a tag of BE, MS(USA)...........its increasingly more difficult to believe coz life seems to have moved forward but it feels as if I am standstill........its as if I am looking by as my life is passing through.......the US of A dint make an impact....the M of S dint either....nor did the Q of Comm and the 4 of G technology work.....nor the Accord of Honda.......hmm....and not even the L of T and the B of E....the thirst still remains.......

Day in and day out I see a soul who slogs at work, cooks at home, browses, eats and sleeps and plays carrom and watches movies, sings one in a while and makes irregular attempts at hitting the gym :) .......This dosent seem to be the life sketch of someone who dreamt of being an entrepreneur, a social activist, a singer, an artist , a writer and above all an educationalist....have I failed to catch up with life or has it bypassed me and gone ahead???....will I ever be able to catch up??

I thought it would..but it dint....

I thought it would matter a lot to me and I would be on cloud nine when I hear those words....But surprisingly so it happened today.....But I just dint react the way I thought I would....There was no gush of excitement..no new air of boosted confidence about me..there was just nothing....Maybe the only thing that actually made me smile were those few minutes over the phone with my mom with her sounding all excited about the news that I just broke to her....It gave me a sense of contentment....A sense of satisfaction that I made my parents happy today...Though I have heard her all excited about things that I have told her a lot many number of times, those times were different...At those times even I was ebbing with excitement..but not today...today IT JUST DID NOT MATTER.....

And for those of you who have wasted your precious time reading my blog and wondering what I am speaking about; somethings are better left unsaid....

U Srinivas - The Legend

Writing a blog about someone whom you have been admiring since having known about him can be a very difficult affair. But this definitely does not dampen my enthusiasm in writing about this child prodigy. It is difficult more so because there is much more associated with writing this piece of blog rather than just admiration. It is my respect and the sense of responsibility towards the image of this great musician as I am writing this blog for a set of readers most of whom would be unaware about him. And the plethora of reviews on him existing online might as well just intimidate my effort.

For those of whom who are curious about the person in question, it is U Srinivas more commonly known as Mandolin Srinivas. I would suggest anyone reading this blog to just view this video clip before reading any further to better appreciate this blog. Inspite of being a fan of Srinivas for quiet some time now, it is precisely this video piece that actually made me to think about writing a blog on him. This composition was rendered by Srinivas when he was a mere 10/12 yrs of age.

For a boy of this age to be rendering such a concert is a stupendous task. Anyone who has been even remotely associated with the subject of carnatic music rather any other form of music would second my view on this. Carnatic music in a nutshell involves mainitaining the rythm, the shruti, significantly complex permutation combinations with the swaras and maintaining the symphony with the accompaniments as a bare minimum requirement. And an instrumental rendition demands significant command over the instrument in question to be able to deliver the composition through it. Acheiving all this at such a tender age is definitely a magnanimous effort.The great western guitarist John McLaughlin was once heard saying "This boy is a monster...."

What amazed me most is the ease with which he delivers this composition. The confidence and finesse portrayed by this young mastero coupled with the serenity of his expressions cant go unnoticed. It shows his command over the instrument and music. A rendition of this kind is possible only if there exists a much higher spiritual bond with music rather than just mundane practice. It is this quality in his renditions which always elevates me to a much higher spiritual level and gives me goose bumps every time that I listen to him.

One more of his noteworthy qualities that can never go unnoticed is his modesty, something which always motivates me to throw away my ego. As one of my friends who personally met him rightly quoted "He makes you feel as if you are Mandolin Srinivas and he is your fan......"

Hail Srinivas!!!

Its you...my son....

Its you whom I see, my son,
In every being that I care for...

Its you whom I feel
In every touch that I long for...

Its you whom I hear
In every rhythm that I dance for.....

Its your tenderness that I smell
In every fragrance that I yearn for....

Its your naivety that I see
In every word of harshness that I pain for....

I have not borne you my son, not yet,
But you are my reason to live for......
And its you who has made this world a better place for me to live for......

what am I doing??

A final project report due at 12 in the nite......the clock is striking 4.54PM.........1/3rd of the report still to be done....and here I am writing my first blog......probably...no definitely this is one more manifestation of my innate nature of doing whatever I feel like doing then and there rather than restricting my urges....like i registered with Blogspot yest nite at 2.30AM just because I felt like doing so !!!......

ok...so now i have a medium to put down my thoughts....i have forced some time out of my schedule to write.......now what to write??

do i put down a disclaimer first for the sake of those people who might actually stumble upon my blog space and read some of the most pathetically phrased blogs with a shade of my egotism??

why am i writing this in the first place??probably this is just one more attempt on my part to move closer to myself.......

writing a blog at this instant seems quiet stupid though with my course grade at stake......but does this really matter??do i even know the answer to this question of mine??do i really know what really matters to me and what does not??why am i not able to answer this question??at a 20+ age should i not be knowing myself??

what is the meaning of truly knowing one-self??Is it knowing to do things that are good for you in the long run - like completing my project report now or is it doing things that give you the much wanted intellectual and emotional satisfaction??how do i really evaluate what i really want??If i have chosen to write this piece of blog right now why does a fraction of my brain go back to my project report due tonite??

why do i always feel this sense of duality??is it the same with everyone?????????????